FastToast: Casti’s new express toaster


Thea Dai

The old toaster. Boo.

Each day for lunch Castilleja offers a tremendous lineup of gourmet food. Things like roasted chicken, boiled rice, and stir fry, along with freshly tossed salads and grain bowls, are regulars in the Casti kitchen. Also in the lineup, next to the daily rotation of soup, is a bar with cold cuts and bagels. These bagels are the primary source of sustenance for Castilleja students. Swaths of students enjoy toasted bagels every day. However, this creates a bit of a jam around the toaster. In an attempt to stifle the complaints about this long wait for a toasted bagel, Castilleja has come up with a new strategy. Soon, students will be able to pay extra to get access to a second, enhanced toaster.

A few months back, a second toaster was included next to the buffet in the cafeteria. Even if a few pieces of bread got stuck and caught on fire, within a few days the Head of School, Nanci Kauffman, discovered the potential for major profit off of the impatience of teenagers. As many students reportedly squat down to watch their bagel all the way to the end, their impatience could only be described by the saying, “a watched pot never boils.” With the Castilleja Expansion Plan expected to commence within the next couple of years, it would not be a stretch to say that the administration may be looking for more cash.

With coordination from Ms. Kauffman, the kitchen staff are working closely with the Gatorbotics team to create a toaster that charges students based on the length of the line for the free toaster. Taking a page out of the Department of Transportation’s book, the price will vary between zero and seven dollars depending on the length of the line for the free toaster. The prototype for the new and improved appliance will be presented to administrators on April 3, 2022 to be approved for use the next week.