How to be loved by your peers


Ananya Nukala

Pro tip: wear pink on Wednesdays.

Do you find yourself having a hard time fitting in with your friends? Are you unloved and shunned? Here are 10 easy steps to get you to be loved by your peers!

Step 1: Be Rude
Being rude is #SoCool! Everyone will envy you for your ability to speak up and talk out. People will be lining up to be your friend. Now, it’s just up to you to choose which ones you want to befriend.

Step 2: Be Bossy
Being bossy is such a turn-on. Show the haters that you know what you’re doing and dictate everyone around you to let them know who’s in charge. People will think you’re a natural leader and follow you around everywhere.

Step 3: Be Negative
We all love Negative Nancies. Their pessimistic outlook on things brings an appeal to them no one else can live up to. People will aspire to be friends with you, the person who’s “too cool for school.”

Step 4: Be Vain
Vanity shows that you’re confident. If at any point, people see your humility, snakes will come and tear you apart. Show them that you’re strong. You’re obviously the best of your peers, so shout that loud and clear.

Step 5: Be Greedy
We all take what is ours. If you take more than what is yours, people will respect you right away. By being greedy, you’re showing everyone that you’re brave and don’t care what anyone else thinks. You only think about and take care of yourself.

Step 6: Be Judgemental
By being judgemental, you instill a sense of superiority within your peers, leading them to respect and love you. Being judgemental puts you in a position that tells your friends, “I am so much better than everyone.” And everyone wants to be friends with someone as cool as that!

Step 7: Always Be Right
No one likes people who are always wrong. If you’re always right, you display your smartness to everyone, and being smart is such an admirable trait.

Step 8: Be Passive-Aggressive
Always fight for what you believe is right! That makes you an advocator, and everyone looks up to people who advocate passionately for whatever they believe in. Also, being passive-aggressive takes skill, and displaying that skill will give you several points up.

Step 9: Be Unreliable
Whether it is lying, betraying trust, etc., unreliability makes everyone excited! If you’re unreliable, you’ll be at the center of all the excitement, so more people will want to spend time with you!!

Step 10: Be Manipulative
If you manipulate others, you can lead them to think any good thing about you, which makes it such an amazing practice. With just a few twists of your words, everyone will be on your side.

The world is your oyster with a sea full of fish friends to make. Now go out there, and be that glittering fish that never shared her sparkly scales because you’re the best. These ten steps will make you flawless.